btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
