I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
