he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
