i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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