About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I supernannyed him into submission
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
