i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm sobbing to NWA
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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