Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
