Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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