Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
