I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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