He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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