I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
