We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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