oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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