bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
