I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
