Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
