He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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