Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
