so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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