just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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