this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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