hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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