You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
