I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
