So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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