Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
