i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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