well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
