is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
