can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
