..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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