He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
