We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
