After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
