babies were throwing up all over the place
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
