Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
