i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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