Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
