Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
not ubering you a puppy
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
