Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
