i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
