i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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