drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
