it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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