he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
