Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
