My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
