Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
