Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
